Figuring out ways to handle the loss of a loved one isn’t always easy. Along with the emotional pain, there is an entire element that it is completely visceral and makes you feel like you’ve just jumped into an icy lake.
The matters that pertain to legal issues and funeral arrangements leave you with your emotions on the side-line as you take care of these issues. While there isn’t really a guaranteed way to get you through these expectations that have been placed on you, there are a few things you can do to help you get through this very rough time.
TAKE TIME FOR U
While you are busily pulling strings to get everything scheduled and make sure that family members are notified of everything that is going on, you probably aren’t getting much time for yourself. Your grieving process is just as important and validated as anybody else.
Make sure that you take a few moments during your day to stop and remember your loved one. This might mean that you have to step outside and go for a little walk. Tell your family you need to get some fresh air. You don’t have to announce that you have had it up to your eyelids with being the administrator of all of the responsibilities. Kindly excuse yourself and give yourself the moment that you need to digest everything that is happening.
When somebody dies, regardless of how much of a warning we were given, the impeding sense of loss is monumental. It would be neglectful of you if you don’t take care of yourself. Food is probably the last thing on your mind right now but your body needs to have it. If you have to force yourself to eat, then do it.
The stress that you have been under is physically hard on your body and you are going to need some fuel to keep your nerves from completely short circuiting. Simple foods like soups and breads can help you feel better and soothe an upset stomach. Make sure to drink plenty of fluid during this time to. Even if you aren’t a very teary-eyed person you need the fluids to help your body and mind.
Don’t forget to take the time to remember the good moments that you had with your loved one. Death may be one of the inevitable hallmarks of life but that doesn’t mean we have to lose the memories we cherish. While this won’t do anything to bring the person back, it can help you realise that you will always have that person close to your heart. By remembering what that person brought to your life you can continually honour their legacy by living your life fully.
We always hear that life is too short. Now is the time to focus on the present. When all of the family is near and present be sure to be honest with your feelings. Let this time of passing be a gateway for you to connect more fully. Don’t worry about loans, heirlooms, property. Focus on the human bond that brings us all together.
The more you can pull yourself away from the overwhelming responsibility of being the person in charge you can begin to realize you aren’t alone. Don’t be afraid to ask for help as you are dealing with all the arrangements. You don’t have to be the only one going through it.
If you find yourself needing to look into loans to help you financially than do so without any self-criticism. If you find yourself having to ask members of the funeral home for help with how to handle things than do so. The bottom line is that you aren’t alone and no single person needs to shoulder the burden of responsibility alone during such a traumatic time.
Wendy Derbyshire is a writer who understands that it can be hard to concentrate on the usual daily concerns of your life after someone close to you has passed away. However, she recommends that if you need financial help, don’t hesitate to apply for loans to support you at this difficult time.