How To Separate From The Svengali In Your Home

Once upon a time, you were a vivacious and spirited woman who had the world at her fingertips. You probably never expected that someone who is supposed to love you and protect you could ever come to dominate you in such a horrific and dangerous way. However, as you watched your marriage dissolve from fairytale romance to frightful abuse, your home life may have turned out to not be the haven that it should be.

Your desire to be independent, yet loved soon slipped into fighting for survival in a home that no longer felt safe or full of the love you thought you could expect from your husband. When you are ready to escape your Svengali spouse, you may wonder what steps you need to take now and in the future. Taking action now and relying on advocates in your family and community can help you restore your own independence and let you rediscover your inner spirit and vitality.

How To Separate From The Svengali In Your Home

Prepare Before you Leave

Your preparation for flight can begin even before you leave your marriage. If you know that escaping is the only safe option for you and your children, you are encouraged to start by saving money, packing clothes in a small bag and then hiding the bag in a safe place, and putting the word out to your most trusted friends and family members that you are preparing to leave. These small steps can give you a solid start in the first few days after you leave your abusive spouse.

Reach Out to Community and Law Enforcement Advocates

Even if you live in a small community, you can find advocates in your local police department, as well as social agencies in the area who can help you get away from your abusive spouse. These advocates can act quickly to help you secure a protective order barring him from contacting you or coming near you. For more information on how to protect yourself legally from physical harm, click on: Advocates can also refer you to legal counsel in the area who can help you file for divorce and petition the court for child support and alimony.

Resolve to Look Forward, Not Back

As bizarre as it may sound to others, it is only natural that you would look back on your spouse and your marriage with fondness. Those times, despite the violence and control, are familiar to you, and you may even miss your husband. However, you must remain committed to moving on with your life if you want to escape the violence and controlling nature your marriage entailed. You will be hurt and frightened; however, these feelings will be temporary. As you relearn how to be independent and live without facing domination and abuse every day, you will grow to appreciate your freedom and look forward to your future.

Bring Evidence to Court

When you go to court for your divorce hearing, it is important that you have a lawyer with you and that you bring every shred of evidence you have to support your domestic violence claims. Pictures, videos, witnesses, letters, texts, and other details can go a long way in showing the judge that your spouse controlled and abused you. This evidence can give you the legal outcome you need to move on with your life.

Knowing how to escape your Svengali husband is crucial if you want to go reclaim your vibrant spirit and independence. Realizing that you are not at fault for your marriage’s circumstances and that you do indeed have a future after your divorce can give you the courage to take actions now and in the coming weeks and months to move on with your life. Rebuild a better you!

Debbie Nguyen is a freelance graphic designer and blogger in Atlanta. During October’s domestic violence awareness month, she wants to remind women that there is help available for them.

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